A lot of times after a long day of work, a quick beer or two alone at the bar does the trick. Worst case, I read a book/work and smoke. Some are going to be almost hostile, some you'll meet a ton of people and have a great time, and others you'll be left mostly alone, but won't feel out of place. Does anyone have any opinions on this idea? At the bar, everyone is a bit more accessible. A subreddit for folks nearing or over 30 who are looking for dating advice. Approach a group that has men and women. Certainly not. Sit @ the bar, not a table. If you’re a single guy, look for a cigar bar. Get to know the regulars. You won't meet girls. It’s not weird to go alone I do it often. I'm assuming she's attractive as well. If I’m going to a bar I’m going to catch up with friends or enjoy an evening talking to them. Ask them if they've been there before and just tell them it's your first time. It’s not like she’s going to the gym or that she’s started going to a book club once a week. A bar is a great place to meet people and possibly make some new friends that live nearby. Has the beer you like on tap, has good food and good atmosphere. Make some small talk with the bartender and be friendly to anyone else sitting at the bar. Back in my drinking days, last time I went to the bar alone and struck up a conversation with the bartender, he went out of his way to shoot down the conversation and make me feel like an idiot. Aqxea. Instead of a bar, I suggest going someplace a like a park, coffee shop, bookstore, farmers market etc. So I'm a chick, I don't know if I'm allowed to be answering on this subreddit, but I go to bars/lounges/clubs alone 90% of the time. Funnily enough, I went by myself to a gay club for the first time on Saturday. ago • Edited 6 yr. I would go in, have a drink, and then be hit on. Growing up I always saw guys drinking alone at the bar, I thought it was normal. Going out to bars alone. Being labeled as "That guy who's sitting at the bar solo," or not having a DD. Sit toward the middle, not the end. No, nobody will notice you’re alone unless you make it obvious. I thought I was being cool going into the bar alone. Never been but it looks authentic. Absolutely fine. Being served. Going to bar alone. I just enjoyed the food & drink without caring about how other people see me. When I was in grad school in a college town going to the bar I was guaranteed to meet other students, but hitting up a random bar in LA by myself feels less safe. LTJ81. Make it your mission to go to a bar alone and talk to just one person. 27 M. It’s quite enjoyable to enjoy the food I want, the time to spend there, and the drinks I like. You’re not going to be instant friends but if you keep going back and seeing the same people it could turn into friends outside the bar. I had put off going alone before, too, but no one there minded or looked at me like I was 'desperate' for being there on my own. start a convo about clothing/drink preferance, if ya got any confidence it should just flow naturally. Get out there and enjoy! I cant speak for others but I don't go alone because its boring. I used to go to a bar close by to me to draw for a few hours. My first and only gf broke up with me last December and I've fallen back into my depression slump. I have always toyed with the idea of going to a bar ALONE. Feel the vibe of these clubs, go to all of them If you can, try to meet people and make friends. I dont know anyone here in this new city so the weekend that i had to myself, i decided to go. In pubs in the UK and Ireland, people go solo all the time, to bide their time, read a book, etc. It’s seriously nbd. If its sports clothes, wear a nice shirt. airlancelot. In fact, it can be super fun! Some of the most interesting conversations I have ever had took place with random people at random bars in random places. I have done it before and never regretted it. Leave time and options open so if something happens, you're good. If it's relatively busy and there is a band/DJ I and the other patrons can focus on then I am alright. I often end up meeting others. Some like bars, some have barbeques, some have D&D games. On your phone browsing, texting people, googling things, reading, and eating the fries every so often or drinking every so often. Unfortunately, at least at the time, I always felt like the men expected something from me when I went into a bar alone, and that wasn't what I was looking for. And it's usually a great time. Comedy shows are a great time to unwind and laugh at jokes. Different guy groups have different guy time space. No, if you wanna go sit in the pub, go sit in the pub. I'm not the best at breaking the ice, or butting into conversations of strangers in attempt to make friends. Meeting people at the bar, not your own crew. You dont rush eating or drinking when at the bar alone. If you're there to talk, get yourself a seat at the bar. My brother said he was good as far as he knew. Gotta find a bar with the right atmosphere. Have a drink or two, that will probably help in this scenario. If you go to a bar after work, sit down, have a drink and some quiet time to yourself, and maybe do a crossword puzzle or something, I wouldn't look twice. You can go to a bar and have a drink alone. It is much easier to blend in because you have an instant common purpose- seeing the band play- with those around you and having the band to focus on is a cool conversation starter. Good thing, since one night an unknown guy sat next to me, and went i stepped away he was bragging about how I was his girlfriend and we were going to have so much fun that night and I planned to get wasted. ctackins. Mundane-Definition64 • 1 yr. Most people will barely notice, or at least, not remember. When someone bought me a drink (the bartender handed it to me), I was able to ask my brother if the guy was a regular, and if he was ok. Award. Can’t be waiting on other people ya whole life. Assuming you're a fun person I bet they'd let you join them. I really want to go to bars or clubs because it sounds like fun but I don't have anyone to go with. You might even meet some new friends. All of this made me feel like it was worth it to go alone. Go for it, get a feel for it, and you'll do better the next time. Society looks down on you. Shoot some pool, play some darts, talk about sport, do whatever people do at bars. If you don't care for the music or the atmosphere, go somewhere else. Do this as often as you can prefreable daily, and in 2-3 weeks you will be more social. I'm very self-conscious, so if it's a quiet night at the bar I feel like I am being watched. I made friends with the two bartenders. She shouldn't be going out alone drinking until 3 am. I've always enjoyed going to bars alone, chilling with a drink (and maybe a book), and striking up a conversation with whoever's around. Just wanted to watch a FB game and drink a beer by myself. SlowerEastSide. ago. Don't go to a bar alone to meet girls. It’s been mostly empty when I’ve gone and seen several people alone and, as it should be at a proper dive bar, it wasn’t weird at all. A lot of hookah bars I usually end up playing cards/dominoes with people as well. I had to do it when I worked abroad in Bermuda. Clubbing alone sucks. Crypto I go to clubs alone all the time and often have a great time, but I go to dance. If the purpose of your going out is to meet men, then by all means go for it. Shoot pool. Share. Don’t feel like you need to say hello to everyone that sits down — let it be natural. If you happen to know anybody that's a bouncer, go to that bar. I tried going to a bar by myself once and it was just kind of depressing. It isn’t weird going to a comedy show alone. Cafe: Yes, but make sure that you arrange the the condiments and silverware into an army so that people don't think you are crazy. This might be anecdotal. Men are trying to pick her up every night she goes there. There is no faster way to get hit on than to be sitting at a bar alone. You get a drink, you chat with some people, you dance, you leave. Also, going to a bar alone is something that not even most social normals would be brave enough to attempt, so good on you for trying! . Going to a dance place alone is easy, and to me, preferable. Feeling like sharing what happened after, don't know if anyone even still remembers that lol. Just don't do it. Amuro_Ray. • 2 yr. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Reply. I always end up striking fun conversations with the other locals. I had a great night that night! I wouldn’t necessarily recommend going to the bar alone, but if you choose to do so just be safe about it. If you just want dinner you get a table. Step 1: Make yourself a regular at any bar that you like. 5. get out there. If u do go out for a solo drink and want to meet people, maybe going to a local a disconnected village pub would be best. A place of meditation and relaxation. Remember that you can walk back out of the bar at any time if you feel weird. Not to hook up or talk to any women. It's a no-win for the man. Make some bar friends first and you won't have to talk to someone alone. Table for 1, or go to the bar and sit there. I’ll leave you alone through your stay, but when you’re done reading I’ll probably ask about your book and mention how rarely i see people doing that anymore, especially in my bar. I’ve become friends with people this way. People go out because they want to see what others are doing. • 13 yr. The only way to seem creepy is to act creepy. I don’t think it’s weird at all, no. See full list on bustle. I’m a straight guy for context, but if you told me that a gay man living in a new area went alone to a gay bar to meet other people who are fun and gay… well brother I wouldn’t be surprised bc that makes perfect sense. Update 2 - Going to a bar alone as a woman. Mar 29, 2022 · Going out to a bar alone has I want to share how spent a few months creating a strategy to help me become successful in approaching women in bars all alone. Chill divey vibe yet well-made cocktails. Another tip is to go to places with live bands/music. She’s going to a bar, staying out past midnight, drinking an amount that would put her over the legal limit, and leaving her family at home alone to do it. Sometimes thats all the social validation you need. So this might be kind of a weird question. I naturally do a lot of people watching and am wondering if it comes across as creepy. to meet people. Son, nothing is normal. Talking about ridiculous nonsense, having a beer or two, and playing pool/watching the game/ throwing darts. Sports. It’s way easier to strike up a conversation by asking a question, making a comment about your surroundings etc. If you go late on a Friday or Saturday night, when most people are there in groups, and Half of what going out to a bar is just holding space. Patrick’s day, birthdays, etc) Sa SaGuijo lang ako pumupunta alone. Young woman going to a bar alone? Eh, sorry the single drunk guy with one intention is pretty much the only conversation you're going to find. Absolutely not. They put me up in this resort, which had a bar/restaurant. It's admittedly a horrible answer, but it really does depend on the bar. You’re just chilling and taking your time. Some bars are better than others for going it solo. When I sit at the bar, I often find other singles or friendly people just wanting to chat. The bar is a place of relflection and introspection. if you’re set on a bar scene, go take a seat at the bar…people will filter in and out around you and you will First go to lgbtq friendly places so you learn the ropes and you feel at ease. com We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I would say just get used to going out on your own. Some bars have better 'cultures' than others for this sort of thing too. I’m a fairly good looking guy and in my 30’s had a lot of success with one night stands. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. JuandisimoV. People will think you are the most interesting man in the world. Better environment than home. 2. Strike up a conversation with the bar tender. Not everyone needs a wingman. 6. Plus, live music + drinks = fun!!! 4. I just never saw the point of going out alone to a bar. Don't tell anyone you're doing it. 3. Good snacks (mostly chicken wings or buffalo wings) & alcohol (mostly beer). Share your location with a friend or family, don’t ever leave your drink alone, don’t accept drinks from strangers unless you watch the Bartender pour it, don’t linger in the parking lot when you leave. 2 visit and the staff will probably recognize you and have remembered your order. Within 20 minutes two older ladies approached me started I’m an introverted, semi-anxious, depressed, and kind of standoffish guy. It allows you to really make the food and drinks last and keep you busy longer. The times I don't was usually because I was being unsocial. I am a guy and I would assume any woman sitting at the bar by herself would be considered 'fair game' (forgive the wording; you know what i am trying to say). I would feel uncomfortable and then just leave. r/askSouthAfrica. • 6 yr. Bar: Sit in a corner, preferably dark, light up a cigarette and drink a dos equis. She ended up giving me a free shot. Business, Economics, and Finance. If you walk in and see another solo customer, you could post up next to them. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Its not weird, but I hope you stay safe. Order one drink and take it slow. Talk to the bartender, with luck ladies will sit near you and you can include them in the conversation. Not weird at all to go to a bar by yourself. I was living alone in the boonies for a while. Lots of reasons to go to the bar/pub alone. Don’t be the solo guy slamming back drinks by himself. Came across A Best of Reddit Updates type post that was posted about a post I made here 4 months ago. Can be a simple hey to the bar tender. How do I act so that it doesn't look like I'm a lonely loser? Jul 14, 2017 · Sexual Orientation: Gay. Step 2: make friends with as many of the bartenders that work there as possible, that way you'll always know someone who is there no matter when you go. In my experience, the majority of other women are unwilling to go to bars alone - if you're able to feel comfortable in that space, you'll stand out (in a good way)! Just go sit at the bar, order a drink, watch the tv, make small talk with the bartender or person next to you. Even if you don’t smoke cigars, just go order a drink. Your gf is young and likes getting drunk. Going to bars alone, enjoying a drink, and zoning out, is totally normal and common. MOD. If u go out alone (especially rn) you will be viewed as a creep or as a threat to most people especially if your going to more popular pubs. U can, but It’s a tough one. Archived post. Sometimes you even find one person tables with little reading lamps on them. On the plus side though? That guy won't care at all if you look like you want to be left alone. (I'd been to clubs/bars before, but with others). Make your goal to just enough yourself and maybe have a conversation with three people. Just always happens. •. Going to a bar by yourself is not pathetic at all, as lots of people here seem to agree. What happened after. Standing by myself with a table for a hour at a night club I've been going to a couple nights a month since June. Go out to a place/bar/event you've always wanted to go. My brother was a bouncer at the one and only bar I ever went to alone. Talk to the bartenders, that's always easy and you can ease from that into talking to the other locals. To each their own. You don't need your friends to have a good time. So, 99% of the time, if you go to a bar and actually show interest, the women will shoot you down. But I’m like half ass introverted so that might change the reasoning there. A quick couple of whiskey sours and you're not alone anymore; hell you'll probably even make a few friends within 30 minutes. Maybe become one. I had a bar near my house I'd go to alone quite a bit because my wife was usually good for an after work drink, but once she got home and sweatpants went on there wasn't a force on earth that would pry her out of the house again. Generally no, but it depends on the vibe of the bar. Feel like dying. Now I just Netflix and chill with some booze or I take the 3 hour drive to my friends’ for drinking holidays (Halloween, St. A small quiet oasis to wash my soul with the elixir of the gods. Just realize most people feel awkward at some point out and about. Yikes I'm usually on my phone. I literally used to go to the same bar on my way home from school twice a week at the same time, drink a whisky or two, then keep going home. At first you feel awkward doing it, but if you can just get up the courage and go to a bar by yourself one time, you will shake it. Depends on the bar. (20M) After years of being an antisocial nerd, I want to find ways to meet new people and spend time outside of my room. First mistake was thinking that I was the type of person that would make going to the bar alone a good experience. :) My one piece of advice is to make friends with the bartender. People like you are the only customers i go out of my way to start a conversation with at work. 99% of the time going to the bar with your buds is just guy time. I have a single friend who is usually game to play wingman, but for the occasions when he's not available, I'm considering going solo. Maybe you'd have better luck sitting at a table instead of the bar itself. In my (34M) effort to meet more people IRL, I've made it a point to go out to bars as often as I can. Bar Nancy. The problem is that I'm going solo. I don't know the answer. You can go with these new friends so you feel safer. Hell, he won't even care if you tell him directly that you want to be left alone. If the vibes not right go to another bar. A bar would be tougher. Haven't met anyone. And they’re so expensive and the food is usually not that good. When I was single, I also used to go to bars by myself to chat with single females as well. Its literally why bars exist. If you're uncomfortable approaching women by yourself go out and talk to men. Be gregarious and take an interest in people without expecting anything from them and the rest will fall into place. Honestly, if you're going, try and strike up a conversation with some other folks in line. 35/F here and I do this all the time. You can’t blame your roommate for not wanting to go though. Going out to a bar alone has Only you can advocate for yourself, be as unreasonable as someone puts you in the position of having to be. I was nervous as hell the whole day. Usually, quite easily. I thought i was going to be laughed at or something. I did this in my 30’s and I made many friends, sit at the bar, tell the bartender if you want to be alone and if they would mind you from being harassed. That bartender sucks, and seems really annoying and vapid. If its shirts wear a nice blazer or suit, etc…. I would start with a small bar until I feel like doing bigger. So I go out to a local nerdy dive, get a drink, have a quick chat with the bartender, and kind of just wander around. If you are looking for company, approach other women and ask if you could join their group, it worked well for me at the time. Edit: I'll go to s bar alone if I really want a drink, but s club no no no no no. I used to go to the bar alone. And must preface, I’m your average guy. Then this girl came over to buy shots and I tried to make conversation. Honestly, no. • 1 mo. Optional step 4) sit at the bar rather than a table and find cool unique people to have interesting conversation with. pics-or-didnt-happen. I don't know much about dating apps so I can't help you there sorry. If you want to learn to cut loose you need to practice. It's not a great way to make friends. I'm not much of a chatter. A mix between a living room and a library. Make friends with the people who are already there. Lately, I have to have a reason to go to a bar, like if there's a band playing or an event going on. Push yourself a little more every time, talk to 2 people, go chat to the hottest girl (or guy) next time, talk to 3 people…etc little steps confidence isnt built all at once. Or that you can't meet cool people that are alone. Reply reply. I would rather go to a event I want to go to, by myself than never go at all. Go and mingle and people will just think you’re with people. I went to a bar alone to grab dinner all the time after I graduated and lived in a small town. I was like "Place is pretty dead, it's Friday eve!" Go without expectations. Its not pathetic its okay. If you go alone to a large party bar in Roppongi, it might be seen as a tad weird, but I go alone to my neighbourhood’s small bars (you know the one that can fit like 10 people), and it’s super normal. Mulligans is good people. To be fair lots of bars have people who might welcome a conversation with a stranger but to run into those people you would need to frequent the bar often. Sully's Snowgoose (Phinney Ridge) These are some of the bars I've spent some time in and have struck up conversations with other patrons and had a good time kickin it there, again all dives. Try doing this when the bar isnt so busy and you will have a good conversation. Then a guy came over and asked if I was alone, so we talked for a bit. Sort by: bittercup13. I go out alone to everything but bars. I recommend going alone. Once you've unlocked regular status, going alone on the weekend when it's busy might be easier. • 12 yr. She is a young woman who likes to get smashed alone while surrounded by strange men wanting to get in her pants. Pub food. Step 1) go to bar of your choice Step 2) order a beer Step 3) find a place to sit and enjoy the atmosphere, music, etc and enjoy yourself. He's out his hard-earned money, he isn't getting a number or meeting someone "nice" to go out with and he leaves feeling more dejected and worthless. • 5 yr. Good place to drink and be left alone. 2- dress a level above what others are dressed in the bar. But I think I've done that before too. Bar Nance is a great solo spot. ) 4. People watching. Personally, I can't do weekends alone at bars as it's a little much for me. If there is nothing going on (no band, no DJ) it just amplifies my discomfort. That's it. And this is not a once a month or even once a week, this is 3-5 nights a week. But, if you start doing it every day, there may be an issue. What I'll say is take whatever you think about that and throw it out the window. I want to go to a bar, grab a beer and some steak fries or something. Later you can go to any place now that you know the drill. You'd be waiting for a chance to put in a witty line or an acceptable moment to strike up a conversation. It kind of depends. I'm comfortable going alone, what gets to me and motivates me to pack it up and leave is realizing no one else out at the bars are alone. Lots of people do that. I go to the bar alone quite a bit. No, I go to my local pub for dinner & beers alone. Often very few people go to the bar alone, they always bring friends. I didnt know what to expect. Just don't try and do it exclusively with women. I tried going to a bar alone once but I creeped myself out because I was a guy in my mid twenties drinking in a sea of college kids. I’m a 40/m so most of my friends are married or settled down. Just own what your doing and enjoy your social emotions, everyone gets them. (Just a little advice from a literal alcoholic). Go to a bar alone to meet people. Ask them about their day - has it been busy, what's it like here at night, what is your favorite drink, etc. Practical_Appearance. 3- filter which bars u like and become a regular/friends with the staff and bartenders. Was weird seeing my post there. Some have spun into hangs and party invites (although most of my friends have been made through going to shows. Especially a comedy show where the focus is on the comedian and it isn’t a “social” event. It really depends on the city and bar for how safe and/or awkward it would be to go alone. Just small talk turns into come join us. Find a good one first. . Going to a bar alone is really not all that different than going with friends. That will attract good people. I’ve gone to bars alone many times especially when traveling. Most bars basically have the unspoken rule that if you're sitting at the bar, you're up for a conversation with people. There was one weekend night where I wanted to go to bar and hear the noise. I never felt out of place or looked like a weirdo since it’s totally normal! 1. What helps is maybe a different bar a mile or 2 in the same city might be a better place to watch sports or might have karaoke or a band playing and invite some of There is a new bar close to my new place. You can go alone. It’s seriously not a big deal at all. Depend on you as a person and what the bar is like. It's a good atmosphere to interact with people and you get to enjoy hookah. Then if you do go to the bar alone or with friends you wont sit there and sulk that no one wants to talk to you. vzhgdajgzecoctjxjqts